My BF and I have very different upbringings. I was raised in a mother/father/younger sister family where there were rules that we followed or we had consequences. He was raised by a single working mother, being the youngest of 4 boys where they did WHATEVER they wanted to, no rules, no consequences.
I love my BF to death, but what is it that first attracted me to him? His "Bad Boy" appeal.
Coming into this relationship I heard all sorts of stories about his past, the troubles with the law he'd been in, not to mention he has 2 children by 2 different mothers whom he did not have a relationship with and both were addicted to illegal drugs.
Non of this affects how my bf and I are now, he has (somewhat) settled down and become more of a family man in the past 2 years. Since we have been together, he now has temp full custody of his eldest, my SS, 5, and was given full custody of his daugther, my SD 3.
My SD listens to me as much as a 3 yr old can, and my SS, well I have mentioned this before.
My BF and I have very different views on parenting, rules, and consequences. Since neither of the children are biologically mine, I feel my opinions on these matters are put on the back burner. I'm not saying I am better than my BF by ANY MEANS, I just feel that the way I was raised shaped me to make better choices and decisions where my BF may not have picked up these traits and has made quite a few bad decisions over the years.
I'm not sure how we are supposed to discuss this, or how I am supposed to make myself heard when it comes to the kids b/c I only want the best for both kids and worry in the back of my head that if they do not have some type of structure, rules, consequences we are going to have some major problems when they start to get older...
How do I go about this conversation, or what actions am I supposed to take?!
Source: http://www.steptalk.org/node/82855
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